I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away…

Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.


David Wong (via thatlitsite)
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panducky:

if you kiss my neck and bite my lip your pants are coming off.

(Source: panducky)


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lemondifficult:

"Haha! Americans don’t have free healthcare!"

Yeah it’s actually a serious problem people are literally dying can this stop being a silly nationalistic insult?


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officialwhitegirls:

primary source of income: when my mom gives me money to buy something and doesn’t ask for the change back

(Source: officialwhitegirls)


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justbeingaslut:

i just really hope all of you find someone who is really cool that you can love and have sex with and all that shit but you can also talk politics and about evolution. someone you don’t cling to at parties but you nonchalantly grab their ass when you walk by them in the crowd and someone you reach for at 2am in between dreams to cuddle.


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svrferblood:

me when buying something over $10: do i need this? do i need any material objects? will this matter when i face the great abyss?


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emiello:

Pros of dating me

  • i’m rly soft and squishy
  • i’ll make you hot beverages in bed
  • i’m good at compliments
  • you’ll gain lots of dorky pet names

Cons of dating me

  • ummm??
  • zero i am a goddess

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riseofthecommonwoodpile:

doing the lord’s work
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I was never good at math but
odds were that I had a
one in seven billion chance
of meeting someone like you
so that means I was more likely
to be struck by lightning or
to win the lottery with a
one in three thousand and
one in 175 million chance,
respectively, and all I can say is
God, I am the luckiest person
to be able to fall in love with you.

The odds have never been more in my favor (via ink-trails)
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Green Tea Ice Cream + Cake
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the-tall-awkward-girl:

get to know the blogger with personality tests results, or for your own reference. (take the tests and reblog with your results bolded)

MOTIV
Materialist | Offbeat | Thinking | Intimate | Vital Spartan | Conventional | Emotional | Withholding | Depressive

GLOBAL 5
social | reserved | limbic | calm | organized | unstructured | accommodating | egocentric | non-curious | inquisitive

HOLLAND
realistic | investigative | artistic | social | entrepreneurial | conventional

R-DRIVE
Narcissism  | Unconventionality | Empiricism | Vitality | Othercentricism | Independence | Integrity | Intellect | Stoicism | Orderliness | Hedonism | Dynamism | Activity | Romanticism

ENNEAGRAM
type 1 | type 2 | type 3 | type 4 | type 5| type 6 | type 7 | type 8 | type 9

JUNG/MYERS-BRIGS
enfp | enfj | entp | entj | estj | esfj | estp | esfp | infp | infj | intp | intj | istj | isfj | istp | isfp

ALIGNMENT
lawful good | neutral good | chaotic good | true neutral | lawful neutral | chaotic neutral | lawful evil | neutral evil | chaotic evil

4 TEMPERAMENTS
melancholic | phlegmatic | choleric | sanguine

ROSENBERG SELF-ESTEEM SCALE
1 - 3 | 4 - 6 | 7 - 9 | 10 - 12 | 13-15 | 16 -18 | 19 -21 | 22 - 24 | 25 - 27 | 28 - 30


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awesomeabbert:

Oh my God what is happening?!?!
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